It's Here

Well, it's here.

The beginning of post-France life. The beginning of the next decades of my life in which I will start stories, "once, when I lived in the south of France..."

Ever since 7th grade when I first heard about studying abroad, the possibility of it, my life has been a build up to living in another country. I was sure it would happen, had to. Every person I talked to about it said either it was the best decision they made in college or it was the one thing they wished they had done.

In the months leading up to leaving for France I had to also plan a bit for the year that would follow my semester abroad, and that's when I start realizing life after France was also soon. I wondered how that life would feel almost as much as I wondered how life in France would feel.

And now it is almost here, in less than 24 hours I will go from France with the people I have grown so close to in 5 months to America with people I have loved all my life. All in one day. What a change that is, how huge.

It is so huge, all of this. Everything I feel and have experienced and learned. I can't understand it all, can't quite comprehend how to say good bye to people who it will be difficult (but never, never impossible) to see again. I can't comprehend how to explain to people I love who weren't here with me how this all felt, how it has created such an evolution in me.

And I am a person who likes to understand things, how they work and why and what they mean. One of the biggest things I have learned here, though, is at some point you have to stop trying to understand and just live. Just let it all exist, all of the love and beauty and huge huge huge emotion to exist in its entirety, not in deconstructed parts.

In fact, in fact I think I need to do that now. I intended for this post to include every big lesson I have learned and from who and when. But I can't right now. It is too huge for this web page. So right now I will say this:

I am at a loss for words, explanations. Here, I have met people who know me in ways I didn't think I could be known. I have learned about the many different kinds of love and the power of an open mind. I have learned about the power of self-perception and how to break it. I have learned learned learned....

Ah...I want to put this all in words for you so badly. I want to share and have you understand. But I cannot right now. Let's have a cup of coffee together soon, a glass of rosé maybe, and that way I can show you through my manner and my words.

For now, thank you. To this country and to my country and to the people people people who show me new parts of new worlds every day. Thank you for all of your love.

French Grocery Shopping

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping with Isabelle to prepare dinner for the 15 people who were going to be at her house to discuss wine that evening. It was interesting to shop with her and see the products she looked at that I would not have known at all what to do with. While I try and experience as much French cuisine as possible, when I go grocery shopping I always end up buying things I can get at home because I know what to do with them. So I watched her closely and took mental notes.

The meal we had was great for a big group. It is a typical Provencal dish. 

The main part of the meal is the sauce made with garlic boiled in milk,
anchovy puree, olive oil, and a couple other ingredients I'll have to check on.

You can then have an array of things to dip in the sauce. We had vegetables
(pictured above), potatoes, boiled eggs, and bread. 

Oh, and this is the cheese we had as an "aperitif" (appetizer with drinks,
rose wine of course). Not only was it delicious (this picture is making me hungry),
she had the coolest cheese-shaver thing I have ever seen! 

In addition to being French she is also quite organic. When picking out produce, she refused to get anything grown in Spain because they use very harmful pesticides there. She is passionate and knowledgeable about so many things. And if you thought California was in to the sustainability-scene, come to France sometime...specifically to a wine-heavy region. Winemakers are extremely adamant about environmentally-friendly practices. 

Le Vin - And Saying Yes When You're Unsure

Recently I was in the Provencal farm house of a woman who has sold several official wine guides for women in France. I am working for her, or with her, rather, translating her wine guide and coming up with social media and web marketing plans to expose her in America. The other day, though, I ate lunch at her house and drank a rosé made by a winemaker she knows personally. And we spoke in French about movies and food and men. 

Just three weeks ago I couldn't have imagined such a scene. Well, actually, I would have imagined it and not believed it could actually exist. For a while before the internship started, and even in the first few days of the internship, I was unsure of the whole thing. Before I met Isabelle, I didn't have a clear idea of what we were doing, I was scared to constantly speak French, and I was ready to go home. In the first few days of the internship Antibes had a strange feeling since so many people I met here left. Now, though, I am so glad I took this opportunity. I am gaining experience in an area I hadn't considered before, and now I have made contacts and have knowledge that could lead me to whole new places in my future. 

I implore you, do things you are unsure of if you have even the hint of a desire to do so. Just jump into things occasionally and allow yourself to work through feelings of anxiety that come with the unknown. Do not say no to something just because it is out of the realm of things you had considered for your life, or because you think it can't end up the way it sounds. 

Please, please, challenge yourself. It is scary, but what you learn about your capabilities will astound you. 

The FANTASMIC bookcase in the B & B we got to stay in for an evening
when we were in Visan for a wine tasting. 

Because of Isabelle Foret's connections in the wine world, we
were able to stay here free of charge for an evening. 

The name of the town where the tasting took place was Visan. The
name of the wine cooperative that is located there is called Anvis. The
wines produced there are a collaboration of several vineyards. 

This wine tasting was special because it was actually a jury
of 33 women who blind-tested 10 different red wines with varying
grape blends. The favorite amongst the professional wine jury and
the non-professional women was selected to represent the annual wine
called "Femme" (woman). 

L'Universite du Vin (University of Wine) located in Suze-la-Rousse, a
small village very close to Visan. It is one of the best wine universities
in the world. 

Whirlwind Weeks

As some of you may know, I originally was supposed to return home on May 12th. Something I kept forgetting to share with you, is that I received a small internship with a French author of wine guides who lives close to Antibes. A few friends I have made here also received internships with the Cannes Film Festival, and for the two and a half extra weeks we are here, we've moved to an apartment closer to old Antibes. It is gorgeous and so lovely to have a real oven and washing machine in our apartment. Plus, we have built a little family here of people working on the internship, and others who are doing post-program traveling and crashing on our couches.

There is so much to update on as usual, but I am going to trying to summarize the biggest things in just one sentence each.

...

Since May 10th, I have had to say some of the hardest good byes (even though they are really, "until we meet agains") to people who I consider in my realm of close, close friends.

Recently I spent 24 hours in Paris during which I felt like a competent business woman navigating metros on my own and presenting my writing to other world travelers.

In the past three days I have been working with a past model and wife of a French rock-star, discussing the promotion of her wine guide in America, tasted gold-flecked wine with her on a yacht, and been placed on the wait list for a Cannes Film Festival party.

My writing is taking off, I want to write a book I want to write a book I want to write a book and I am receiving a lot of encouragement to do so.

My heart continues to find new emotions - of aching love, of disbelief, of pure happiness, of unexpected disappointment, of anxiety, of wonder.

Growing pains of the heart are more acute than those of the body.

...

I will most likely just be doing pictures for the next couple of weeks. If you have questions about the sentences above, feel free to leave them in a comment box and I will respond. :)

List Item # 7

I had the privilege of accomplishing List Item #7 with my parents. They arrived on the 27th of April, and were here until May 4th. It was exciting to show them around my little corner of France, and just lovely to see them in general.

We spent a couple of days in Aix-en-Provence, and since everything was closed on Tuesday for French Labor Day, we decided to hike around Mount Saint Victoire. It is a beautiful mountain that was the obsession of Cezanne, a famous French artist who started the shift from impressionism to cubism (learned about him in my French Riviera Artist's class...see, I did go to school!)

 It was a nice, leisurely hike, but a hike nonetheless. It also included a little adventure, as Dad was feeling a bit sneaky. We were hoping to visit the building Cezanne lived in when painting the Mt. St. Victoire scenery. Unfortunately, since it was a holiday, and the area where the hut was had a fence around it, we initially did not think we can get in. There was a large section of the fence knocked over, however, and no signs saying not to go through it, so Dad decided we should explore. In doing so we found Cezanne's hut and some gorgeous red rock.

Definitely a highlight of their visit. :)